The Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Synopsis

In the Season 25 finale, Bart’s victory in Springfield Elementary’s annual “Race Around the School” leaves him guilt-ridden because he received outside help in achieving his win. Meanwhile, Homer is fired up about getting the Fourth of July fireworks reinstated after they were cancelled for budgetary reasons

Game Play

Milhouse FTW! Pt. 1

After tapping on Milhouse’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png *Sigh*
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, it’s what’s-his-name… Glasses McBluehair?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png No, Mr. Simpson. My name is–
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wait, don’t tell me! I totally know you — you’re Lisa’s boyfriend, or girlfriend, or something. Uhhh… Martin?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png No, close though.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Okay, think, Homer. Not Nelson, because he’s cool. God, I wish I was Nelson. Okay gotta focus… close to Martin… Comic Book Guy?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png That’s not a good guess at all.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Principal Skinner? Duffman? Lard Lad? The Kiwk-E-Mart?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png My last name is Van Houten.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Are you sure I know you?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png *Sigh*
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Hey Homer! Whatcha doin’?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Just messing with Milhouse to cheer him up. He seemed kind of down.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Sorry to hear that. What’s up, kid? Did future Lisa future divorce future you again?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png No, field day is coming up at school and I’ve already got a closet full of last-place trophies in one of those. I don’t know what to do.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png You could rent a storage unit!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Yeah, I bet you could fit a crapload of last-place trophies in one of those.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png It’s fun solving people’s problems!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I think Milhouse actually wants to NOT lose.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Oh, like win? That’s super-hard.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png I’d seriously give the storage unit some thought.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Come on, guys – let’s help him win!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Do you guys actually now anything about fitness?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I know “feel the burn” is a thing. And there’s something called cardio, which is either good or bad. Also electroyltes, maybe?
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Listen to Professor Jack Lalanne over here!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Maybe I should just look up fitness on the internet.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png The inter-what-now?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png The internet. It’s where I learned about the Civil war, dinosaurs, my parent’s divorce, my parents getting back togheter…
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png …the tidal wave approaching Springfield, the assassination of Trotsky—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png They assassinated Trotsky?!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png There were dinosaurs?!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I’m gonna go do an internet search for “rock-hard male bodies.”
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Just make sure safe search is on with that one.
The player receives “Milhouse FTW! Pt. 1” which is to “Make Milhouse Research Fitness on the Internet”. It takes 6 hours.

 

Milhouse FTW! Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I think we were really close to helping Morton.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Totally! You should have kept saying science words.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I kind of ran out.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png Hello, did I hear my name?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yeah, like a million lines ago. It’s nothing, it was a joke.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, here’s Milhouse now. How did the web surfing go?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Pretty good. The internet is a weird place, but it sure has products to buy. Can I borrow your credit card, Mr. Simpson?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I don’t see why not. Knock yourself out.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png This card says “Todd Flanders.”
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well I’m not gonna give you my “Ned Flanders” card! You’re just not ready for that flexible spending limit.
The player receives “Milhouse FTW! Pt. 2” which is to “Make Milhouse Order Unnecessary Fitness Gadgets”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Alright! My stuff is here already. Physical fitness, here I come!
MESSAGE You’ll find the Fit™ Milhouse outfit in your inventory!

 

Milhouse FTW! Pt. 3

After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png This outfit is great! It’s like I got a little fitter just putting it on!
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Now for that important part of getting in shape… choosing a sports drink.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png YARR! How about a salty treat from the deep to quench that thirst? Allow me to introduce…
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Captain McAllister’s very own Obesotade!
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Who’s Captain McAllister
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png That’s me. Sea Captain, Captain McAllister. Same thing. Same guy.
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png I’ve never heard anyone call you Captain McAllister.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png YAR. You’re not making this into something it’s not. My last name is McAllister — Captain McAllister, who is a sea captain.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png I sell a product. It’s effective. You should buy some.
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Okay, tell me more, Mister McAllister.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Not Mister, Captain. Mine is the only brine-based sports drink scientifically guaranteed to make you lose weight be peeing out more water than you take in.
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Even as a naïve ten-year old, I question that as a fitness strategy.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png And how many whales have you killed?
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Two.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Shiver me timbers, that’s two more than me.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Listen, my lad, the only question you need to ask yourself is which color you’d prefer. Will it be goat-urine yellow or rigor-mortis blue?
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png If you promise to go away afterwards, I’ll take a gallon of both. And here’s my credit card.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Ah yes, Todd Flanders. I sold a barrel of grog to your father Ned just yesterday.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png He’s fatter and balder than I remember, but aren’t we all?
The player receives “Milhouse FTW! Pt. 3” which is to “Make Fit™ Milhouse Guzzle Sports Drinks”. It takes 12 hours.

 

Milhouse FTW! Pt. 4

After tapping on Fit™ Milhouse’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Now that I’ve bought a bunch of stuff on the internet, guzzled copious amount of sugary sea water…
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png …and been to the hospital for acute kidney failure, I guess I’d better get exercising.
The player receives “Milhouse FTW! Pt. 4” which is to “Make Fit™ Milhouse Work it!”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Feel the burn, Milhouse! Feel the burn!!
MESSAGE: Milhouse is getting in shape. Just like tapping through all the dialogue in this update got your finger in shape.
After the task is complete.
MESSAGE: Can Milhouse actually pull this ‘fitness’ thing off? Find out on this Sunday’s episode of The Simpsons, 8/7 on FOX!
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Lugash see chubby American boy making silly moves in outdated exercising clothes!
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png Look who’s taking! You smoke, you drink a bottle of vodka a day…
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png …you’ve never seen a vegetable, and your heart is mostly translated pig valves.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png How you know these things?
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png They’re written on your brochure and you have them tattooed on your back.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png That was crazy night. Never drink and redo brochure.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png When you are ready to stop silly girl moves and become best, come to gym.
Tapped Out Fit™ Milhouse Icon.png *Gasp* You mean you’re offering to be my own personal trainer?
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Yes, but for a price. Lugash is premium!
MESSAGE: Is Milhouse tough enough to handle Lugash’s training regime? Complete Lugash’s “The Cranky Man Can” storyline to find out!

 

THE FOLLOWING QUEST REQUIRES LUGASH. HE IS A PREMIUM CHARACTER.

Lugash-sthetics Pt. 1

After tapping on Lugash’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png If it isn’t boy slug! You finally decided you want look like Dragomir, ancient Slavonic God of fitness?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I’d actually like to look like a STRAIGHT version of Dragomir.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Haha, good joke. Never joke about Dragomir again. So, you will come to Lugash’s gym and train until you cry salty tears of joy?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Bring it, chump. You heard me.
The player receives “Lugash-sthetics Pt. 1” which is to “Make Lugash Bring Milhouse to Tears”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png ….48…..49…..50! *Huff*….*wheeze*…so….tired…..feel like…vomiting.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png WHAT?! You only walk up staircase leading to gymnasium! The fun is not beginning yet!

Lugash-sthetics Pt. 2

After tapping on Lugash’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png The sight of chubby American boy, flabby little legs and soft buttery arms fill Lugash with UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE!
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Good thing anger management make Lugash more understanding.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Lugash use pain management technique, focus on positive reinforcement, avoid more prison time.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Instead of pain, Lugash promise you nice home made meal…
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png Yes, hello, sorry to intrude, but did someone say “meal?” Because I’m a big fan.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Get out. See, Milhouse, that is what you will become if you not get in shape.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png I’m big-boned.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png You are FAT-boned, and fat everything-else. Anger returning, not so managed now. Go away.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Enough chit-chat, boy slug! Time for your first 10-kilometre sprint!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Kilometre? What’s that? Do you mean mile?
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png NO! LUGASH MEAN KILOMETRE! Lugash civilized and only accept metric units of measurement! Now start running before Lugash prod you with fifty-centimetre electric cattle fork!
The player receives “Lugash-sthetics Pt. 2” which is to “Make Milhouse Hide from Lugash in Fear”. It takes 24 hours.

Lugash-sthetics Pt. 3

After tapping on Lugash’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Oh look! Here is chubby American boy! Why you hide from Lugash when Lugash only mean well?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I’m sorry Lugash. I don’t know what came over me.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png Liar, you killing time because you no want exercise. Now get to running before old friend cattle prod say hello again!
The player receives “Lugash-sthetics Pt. 3” which is to “Make Milhouse Put in Some Honest Effort (x4)“. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Lugash Icon.png You doing well! Lugash almost proud! That closest Lugash ever get to actual proud. Okay, no rest, do again.

Lugash-sthetics Pt. 4

After tapping on Milhouse’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Lugash’s exercise regime has me looking as ripped as Rip Van Winkle!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Didn’t he just sleep for 20 years?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Yes. And that’s why I’ll be turning out the lights when I’m taking ‘the new me’ selfies for posting on Springface.
The player receives “Lugash-sthetics Pt. 4” which is to “Make Milhouse Post Selfies to Springface”. It takes 1 hour.

 

Characters

Image Name Cost Unlock message
Tapped Out Fit Milhouse Artwork.png Fit™ Milhouse Free Tapped Out Unlock Fit Milhouse.png

 

Decorations

Image Name Cost Character unlocked
Tapped Out Macaroni's Shed.png Macaroni’s Shed Donut Tapped Out.png30 NONE

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