Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 1

After the player logs in
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Whaaaaack…ing….day…whack…ing…day…..
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Whack-ing-day!… Whack-ing-day!
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png     WHACKINGDAY!!! WHACKINGDAY!!!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png WHACKINGDAYWHACKINGDAYWHACKINGDAYWHACKINGDAY!!!!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa, know what day it is? Here’s a hint — it’s the day we whack snakes with sticks until they die. Can you guess?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, right. I forgot you’re not a fan.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But even YOU can appreciate my new whacking stick. It’s got everything — a handle, the part you hit the snack with… and that’s all.
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png I’ve always been partial to Crushman Co.’s line of whacking sticks: the Brainseeker, the Snake Harmer, the Blunt Force Mama…
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Sure, those were fine sticks in their day. But the new carbon fibre whackers are light years ahead. It’s almost like the snake is whacking itself.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png In all our squabbling over personal preference, let’s not lose sight of the true meaning of Whacking Day — God hates snakes.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 1” which is to “Make Homer Prepare for Whacking Day”, “Make Apu Prepare for Whacking Day”, and “Make Willie Prepare for Whacking Day”. It takes 24 hours.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer
Tapped Out Bunny Icon.png
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Whacking Day is here, and all we’ve got in town are rabbits? How am I supposed to murder adorable, innocent bunnies?
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png By bashing them in the skull, same as the snakes. I’ll show ye.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Willie, you wouldn’t!
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Oot a me way, little girl! Now, I simply entice the fluffy devil to me with a carrot, raise me whacking stick, look into its innocent soulful eyes and… and…
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Ach! I canneh whack them.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png And now you don’t have to! Thanks to my latest least-plausible — the Bunny Stunner!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Instead of humanely bopping them on the head, it will humanely shoot thousands of volts through their body.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png How is that humane?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png They’ve very few amps.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ugh, a science lesson?! Just shut up and let me try it already.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 2” which is to “Humanely Zap Bunnies (x10)”.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I guess the upside here is that by letting the bunnies live, we can whack them again and again.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It’s quantity over quality — the hallmark of Simpsons Tapped Out!

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Is it my imagination, or are these bunnies… laying eggs?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You don’t think that these are ACTUAL Easter Bunnies, do you?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So the Easter Bunny is real? Because my friend Janey doesn’t believe in him, yet she still gets a basket.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s only anecdotal evidence, but it’s sent shock waves through the entire second grade’s belief system.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Of course the Easter Bunny is real! Don’t listen to that moron Janey. Just cling tight to your remaining innocence with all your strength, little girl.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Okay, will do. Phew.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Now, stand aside. Daddy’s got some eggs to collect.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 3” which is to “Make Homer Steal Easter Eggs”. It takes 12 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 4

After tapping on Ned
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Bunnies instead of snakes? It makes no sense!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Maybe it does. Consider that over the years, we’ve whacked the local snake population into near-extinction.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Leaving bunnies without a key predator, thereby allowing their numbers to explode.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Once again, we see evidence of the fluidity of natural ecosystems. Animal populations change over time depending on their environment.
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png So you’re saying that all these bunnies are proof that nature is capable of adaptation and change. Sort of like evolution?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I suppose…
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Well, we can’t have evidence of evolution hopping around everywhere. Time to go bunny-huntin’!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 4” which is to “Make Ned Hunt Bunnies”. It takes 16 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 5

After tapping on Homer
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png I remember my first rabbit hunt like it was yesterday. I had hired myself out as a guide on an African safari. My client’s name? Teddy Roosevelt.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Dad, that’s great, but I’m kind of busy right–
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png We were pushing through the under bush, in search of a 12-point bull rabbit the indigenous people called “El Guapo.”
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Teddy Roosevelt died before you were born, “El Guapo” is Spanish, and “12-point” refers to antlers, which rabbits don’t have. Now, I really have to–
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png I spotted El Guapo up ahead. He was leaning casually on the rim of his rabbit hole, chomping a carrot and giving me the old “What’s up, Doc?”
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That’s a cartoon and–
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png I snuck up to him, but just before I shot, the rascally bandit informed me that wabbit season had just ended, and that it was now duck season.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Imagine my shock!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 5” which is to “Make Homer Endure One of Grampa’s Stories”. It takes 24 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 6

After tapping on Apu
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Hello, Lisa! Care to choose from our selection of ultra-high-quality Easter-themed items?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png A few days ago this store was stuffed with Whacking Day supplies. How’d you switch to Easter so quickly?
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png You think it’s so difficult getting plastic junk in a hurry?
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png That said, this is, of course, only the highest-quality plastic junk.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Sold at a very reasonable mark-up of 6,000%.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png And still they buy. How I weep for my adopted homeland.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 6” which is to “Make Apu Stock the Kwik-E-Mart for Easter”. It takes 8 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 7

After tapping on Homer
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Zappin’ rabbits? It’s what Easter’s all about!
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Not to nitpick, Homer, but Easter is actually about the resurrection of our Lord.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Really? How come I’m just hearing about this?
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png You can’t be serious. You go to church every Sunday. Has literally none of it sunk in?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I like the part when we all shake hands and wish each other well.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It’s fun because sometimes you shake the hand of a dude you hate, and you can God-bless them in a sort of Clint Eastwood-style voice.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Like, you say “Peach be with you,” but what you really mean is “I’ll see you in hell.”
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And if that’s all I take from religion, well, that’s enough. It truly is.
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Homer, I… I have to… go… now.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 7” which is to “Make Ned Prepare Easter Dinner”. It takes 4 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 8

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png There’s simply no logical explanation for a rabbit that lays eggs. It’s like something out of a bad movie, or a poorly-thought-out video game!
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png I beg ta differ, little pointy-haired girl.
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png As an expert on cross breeding and inbreeding of all kind, I know genetic oopses like this happen every day.
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png There’s several Spucklers what lays eggs. You never tasted such delicious yolks. Ain’t no egg like a person egg.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You’re saying these rabbits might have been genetically engineered to lay eggs? But who would do such a thing? And why?
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png I reckon that’s for later missions. Right now, I need to grow some carrots for our little friends. For all I know, they’s kin!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 8” which is to “Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus’ Farm” and “Harvest Carrots at Cletus’ Farm” and It takes 4 hours.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 9

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Principal Skinner, are you aware that the school library is woefully under supplied with books on genetic engineering?
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Well, our funding has been drastically cut back. But we did recently acquire some mid-eighties L.L.Bean catalogues.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Quench your thirst for knowledge on those.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png And while I realize that the latest fad theories in education would dispute this, I’ve never really felt that girls and science are a good fit.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Principal Skinner!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I shouldn’t have said that, should I?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Please, I’m just trying to determine if rabbits can be bred to lay eggs.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Ah, yes. Well good luck with your worthy inquiries. Me, I plan on enjoying the free eggs while they’re here.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Mother never let me go on an egg hunt. She said it was waste of good food that I’d never find anyway…
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 9” which is to “Reach Level 9 and Build Springfield ELEMENTARY” and “Make Skinner Search the School for Eggs”. It takes 24 hours

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 10

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I don’t know. Maybe Dad’s right. Maybe these egg-laying bunnies are all just magic and wonder.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Hmm, an email in my inbox. From a “D.E. Machina.”
Computer DON’T GIVE UP. FOLLOW THE EGGS. SENT FROM MY PHONE.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png WHO ARE YOU? AND WHY SHOULD I TRUST ANYONE WHO HASN’T TURNED OFF THAT ANNOYING “SENT FROM MY PHONE” SIGNATURE?
demachina I KEEP MEANING TO LOOK UP HOW TO DO THAT. SENT FROM MY PHONE.
demachina SOMEONE IS BUYING UP ALL THE EGGS. FIND OUT WHO. SENT FROM MY PHONE.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png FINE. IN THE MEANTIME, GO TO SETTINGS/MAIL/SIGNATURE AND CHANGE THE SIGNATURE TO BLANK. YOU’RE WELCOME.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 10” which is to “Make Lisa Follow the Eggs”. It takes 1 HOUR.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 11

After tapping on Homer
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Here bunny… *zap* whoo, an egg! Here bunny…
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png Why’s everyone so excited about hunting magical bunnies around town? I’ve been doing it for years.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Yeah, but these bunnies aren’t drunken hallucinations, Barn. They’re real.
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png Oh. Hey, that IS exciting!
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Yeah, well it don’t hold a candle to Whacking Day. There’s something about killing defenceless little animals that just warms a creep’s heart.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Wait — what am I saying? The only reason people ain’t killin’ bunnies is because they’re squeamish. But there ain’t an ounce of squeam in me!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 11” which is to “Reach Level 15 and Build Moe’s Tavern” and “Make Moe Hunt Bunnies with Prejudice”. It takes 1 day and 8 hours.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 12

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Milhouse, I need your help.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Anything for you, Lis. So long as it in no way conflicts with my being a word-class chicken.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Or involves breaking any rules of any kind, even rules I know to be stupid and/or unenforceable.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Come on, Milhouse. Live a little.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I’ve made it ten years without living. I’m not about to start now.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I’m trying to track down where the eggs go after they’re redeemed. I need you to buy an Easter Box from the mysterious stranger.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png If you help me out, Puppy Goo Goo gets invited to every tea party I throw from now on.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I can’t deny that Puppy Goo Goo’s anaemic social life is the greatest concern of my life. Very well, Lisa, I’m in.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 12” which is to “Make Lisa Investigate the Easter Boxes”. It takes 12 hours.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 13

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I’ve tracked the egg shipment to the nuclear plant. I think Mr. Burns may be behind the evil pot!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Like he’s behind every single evil plot Springfield has ever faced?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, this town could use another villain. But first, we need to break into the nuclear plant. How good are you at climbing fences?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Coach Krupt has called me “the most disappointing physical specimen ever to grasp a dodge ball.”
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Compared to my P.E. assessment, that’s a compliment. Looks like you’re the man for the job!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 13” which is to “Make Milhouse Sneak into the Control Building”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png There’s a whole egg factory in there! Bunnies laying eggs as far as the eye can see!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Wait a second, if Mr. Burns can produce his own eggs, why is he buying up everyone else’s? It doesn’t make sense!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I’m sure Hubert Wong could figure it out.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, he hasn’t been added to the town yet. And anyway, I’m smarter than Hubert Wong.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I am TOO smarter!

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 14

After tapping on Homer
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Must get every Easter Box prize… Must complete set… Life meaningless until all are mine…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Snap out of it, man! Quit letting a randomized outcome rule your life.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, it’s not random. There’s a pattern, I’m sure of it. Just like there’s a pattern to how we walk around town… I assume.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Maybe you should just go to work. Then you could earn enough money to buy the things you want outright.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What’s the point of that? There’s no drama, no delectable tension. Besides, Mr. Burns told all his employees to take the month off and collect eggs.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Which I find in no way suspicious! Now shut up.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png According to an online forum post I just read, the next Easter Box I buy is guaranteed to pay off big! Guaranteed!
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 14” which is to “Buy another Easter Box”.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 15

After tapping on Bart
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Lisa, everyone in town but you and me is obsessed with egg-collecting.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Follow the eggs… follow the eggs, he said…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Oh my God, it’s got my sister, too.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Well, as the only non-zombified person here, I owe it to the town I love to embark an a massive crime spree. To the spray paint store!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Wait! Bart, an anonymous whistle blower is emailing me clues about the scientific origins of the bunnies. I have to find out who it is.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png To catch a geek, hire an even bigger geek.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 15” which is to “Make Bart Question Comic Book Guy”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png You have come to the right place. On the internet, no one can hide from… FREAKZILLA48!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png That’s a pretty lame handle for a cyber warrior.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png What can I say — FREAKZILLA1 through FREAKZILLA47 were taken. Anyhow, typety-typety…
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png “D.E.Machina” appears to be originating from a server that goes by the name “Sax on the Beach.”
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *sigh* “Sax on the Beach” is the title of Bleeding Gum Murphy’s only album!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png If this mystery involves jazz in any way, I vote we let this whole town go to hell.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png Seconded! Horrible, horrible music.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png For your information, jazz is America’s–
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png –only indigenous art form? Yes, we’ve all heard that argument before. And yet the music still blows.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 16

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Maybe if we listen to “Sax on the Beach,” we’ll find a clue as to why these bunnies were bred.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Listen to jazz? I’d rather die. Seriously. That’s not an expression. I honestly, rationally choose death over jazz.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I really don’t understand this hatred for America’s–
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png ONLY INDIGENOUS ART FORM??? WE GET IT!!!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png IT’S STILL GROWN MEN NOODLING AROUND ON WIND INSTRUMENTS FOR HOURS ON END.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Sorry. Look, you’re my sister. And despite that fact, I like you. On rare occasions.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png But don’t ask this of me. If I hear lick one, I will literally vomit to death.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 16” which is to “Make Lisa Listen to a Bleeding Gums Murphy Album”. It takes 12 hours.

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 17

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s strange. Most of Murphy’s songs are about the love of his life, but I can’t remember him mentioning a special woman.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png In fact, the only obsession I recall him having was for Fabergé Eggs…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Eggs? As in Easter Eggs?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png But Fabergé eggs are crazy expensive. You’d have to be fantastically wealthy to acquire even one.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png As wealthy as… MR. BURNS! It all fits!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s time for D.E. MACHINA to come clean.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 17” which is to “Make Lisa Contact the Whistle blower”. It takes 24 hours.
Computer BURNS PAID FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF EGG-LAYING BUNNIES.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png BUT WHY? HOW WILL CREATING LOTS OF EGGS HELP HIM ACQUIRE A ‘FABERGÉ’ EGG?
demachina WHAT INTERESTS A MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING? WHY, THE IMPOSSIBLE, OF COURSE.
demachina YOU ARE ALMOST THERE. THINK, BY GLAYVIN!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png WAIT, “GLAYVIN?” PROFESSOR FRINK, IS THIS YOU?
demachina NO! FOR HOYVIN-MAYVEN’S SAKE! OKAY, FINE, YES. IT’S ME.
demachina WITH THE SLIP-UPS, AND THE POOR WORD CHOICE, AND THE WHY DIDN’T I ERASE THAT BEFORE HITTING “SEND?”

 

Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 18

After tapping on Lisa
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So it was you who engineered these rabbits? I never suspected it would be the one and only scientist in town!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png It’s true. I gave life to these adorable abominations. Sooooo fluffy, sooooo cursed. Glayvin.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png But why reach out to me?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Because I knew it was wrong. My delicate nerd bones crumple under the weight of a three-pound backpack, let alone a half ton of guilt.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Burns’ farm is enormous, and those rabbits breed like overly libidinous I-can’t-think-of-the-word.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png It was inevitable a few rabbits would escape into the wild.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png And Burns doesn’t want to lose their eggs! That leaves only one question left to answer.
The player receives “Four-Day Weekend For Our Sins Pt. 18” which is to “Make Lisa Confront Mr. Burns”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Why did I do it? You see, I’ve collected nearly all the Fabergé eggs that survive to this day.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png And it wasn’t easy. You have no idea how difficult stealing from Russian oligarchs is. “Paranoid” doesn’t begin to describe those guys.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png But there’s on kind of Fabergé even THEY don’t have. A naturally-occurring one.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png And so I hired Frink to create a creature that just might someday lay one.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So that’s why you needed every single egg. On the off chance that one might contain your prize.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ha! I guess even the super-rich are powerless against the endless, unquenchable urge to collect things they don’t need.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Of course! It’s universal. A fact for which all of us in this digital town should be very grateful.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hmm, I guess if people weren’t suckers for collecting, EA would have no reason to keep updating this game.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Exactly. So stop pointing out how useless this whole endeavour is, you idiot! We need these people!
MESSAGE: All bunnies now have a rare chance to plop out the exclusive Natural Fabergé Egg.
MESSAGE: Or, if you’re completely, utterly sick of death of randomly-generated events, you can get it from the store.
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