Level 42

Level42.png


 

Should I Buy Chester Lampwick and the Rocket Car (COMING SOON)

Should I Buy The Itchy & Scratchy Billboard (COMING SOON)


Characters

Image Name Unlock message
Roger Meyers, Jr..png Roger Meyers, Jr. Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr New Character.png
Chester-J-Lampwick.png Chester J. Lampwick Tapped Out Lampwick New Character.png

Decorations

Image Name Cost Effect
Tapped Out Itchy & Scratchy Billboard.png Itchy & Scratchy Billboard Donut Tapped Out.png40  1.00% bonus for jobs and XP

Buildings

Image Name Cost Character Unlocked
Itchy & Scratchy Studio Cash.png600,000  Roger Meyers, Jr..png

Regular Walkthrough

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 1

After tapping on Krusty’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I miss the old Springfield.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Where’s the black market Vicodin? Where’s the underground kangaroo fight club? I need my ‘roo fights!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Sure. I’m making lots of money. But that gets boring without morally reprehensible things to spend it on.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Krusty, if you’re jaded about being rich, there’s only one solution to your spirtual crisis — get even richer.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Yeah, than I can buy a private island. And attach rockets to it, and blast it into space. Ah, Space Island.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png What you need is to start making new Itchy & Scratchys.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png But we’ve already got hundreds of them. and the characters don’t change or age. What innovative stories could any writer wring out of those characters?
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png From what I can tell, none.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png But it doesn’t matter. No one needs to watch the new episodes
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png They just need to know they’re being made and rember the old ones fondly… and voila, the brand is still relevant!
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Then you can start merchandising t-shirts and action figures, slot marchines and beer… maybe even develop a freemium game!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Would the game have to be good?
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Not at all. Just rebuild Itchy & Scratchy Studios. I promise you’ll be slupring up cash pronto from that sweet IP!
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 1” which is to “Build the Itchy & Scratchy Studio”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Look out, ennui. You’re about to get punched with a money fist.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 2

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Krusty, if it isn’t my favourite talking ulcer. What is it that you want from me?
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Hey, hey, Roger. I just pulled you from oblivion. You ought to be kissing my foot acne in gratitude.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png I ain’t kissing your facne for nothing! You still owe me for the Picasso you destroyed!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png When I drunkenly broke into your house and got cold? What was I supposed to start a fire with… a Monet!?
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I’m not breathing in fumes from some crappy Impressionist!
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Fellas, let’s put aside this fighting, and focus on our common goal — being rich enough to feel superior to others.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png We have a simple request, Roger.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Get your staff at I & S to develop a new batch of beloved cartoons we can turn into shoddy, sweatshop merchandise.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Remember, not just loved, BE-loved.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png We can do that. I have the smartest, hardest working, most talented writers since… [JOKE TO COME].
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 2” which is to “Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Writers”. It takes 12 hours.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 3

After tapping on Krusty’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Well, Roger, I’ve given you and your staff 12 hours, give or take the use of doughnuts.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png That should be more than enough time for them to come up with a billion dollar franchise.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png I’m sorry, Krusty. I went into the studio, and found everyone who worked for me is gone. And by gone, I mean is now a skeleton.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png There’s a lesson here: if you chain your writers to their chairs, make sure those chairs are within arms’ reach of the breakroom.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Wait. Then what have you been doing all this time?
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Caught up with my email. Your inbox really fills up when you haven’t been in existence for a while.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Oh, even more money! You were going to heal me! Now how will I ever end the numbness I feel for life?
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 3” which is to “Make Krusty Be a Sad Clown”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png The worst problems in the world are the ones that affect me.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png A sad clown? How very original.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Originality is not my speciality.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Besides, I’m not sad for me. I’m sad for the millions of viewers who’ll never get to see new episodes of Itchy and Scratchy.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png I guess you haven’t seen Deadline Springfield.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png What is that — the Internet? People aren’t still doing the Internet, are they?

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 4

After tapping on Krusty’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Hey Roger Liars, which I say since Liars rhymes with your last name Myers. What’s this I just read on Deadline Springfield?
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Look whose tears have dried. My good pal–
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Don’t you “good pal” me! You’re gonna make millions showing Itchy & Scratchy on the World Wide Whatever! And you cut me out of the deal?!
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png In our last contract, you never asked for a share of new media sales. It’s not my fault we signed that when the internet didn’t exist.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You backstabbing son of a backstabber!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png If it’s an option in my menu, I will make it my mission to have you stored back in the inventory.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png People don’t watch television any more, Krusty.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png They receive content through smartphones, computers, tablets, and direct-to-brain downloads.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png So now some company will pay us handsomely for the opportunity to provide the entire Itchy & Scratchy catalogue via cable and internet doohickeys.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png That’s how to wring the last remaining drops of cash out of an ageing cartoon franchise.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png But you told me IP something something blah blah?
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png I just said that to trick you into bringing back Roger. Face it, Krusty. You got Blue-Haired Lawyered.
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 4” which is to “Make Roger Myers Jr. Negotiate New Media Rights”. It takes 10 hours.

Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 1

After tapping on Krusty’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Stupid Blue-Hairs! This is what I get for trusting those types of people. Always trying to crook away your money.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Mr. the Clown, I know I see you all the time, but can I have another autograph?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I keep having to give them away to bullies so they don’t steal my retainer.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Scram, you worthless blue-haired kid. And don’t you even think of putting your toe into a Krusty Burger.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You’re banned! All Blue-Hairs are banned!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Huh. I never knew bigotry was this emotionally satisfying. I think I finally get the South.
The player receives “Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 1” which is to “Make Krusty Block Blue-Hairs from Krusty Burger”. It takes 3 hours.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Nothing blocks people from entering a building like juggling.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png This is the perfect revenge. There’s no way this act of bigotry doesn’t work out great for me.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 5

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Seven hundred and fifty million dollars…
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Roger, can you please finish signing these contracts?
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Seven hundred and fifty million dollars…
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Yes, that’s how much you’re going to be paid for the streaming rights for Itchy & Scratchy by the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©!
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Seven hundred and fifty million dollars…
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png But you can’t get anything from the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, until you sign all the contracts.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Seven hundred and fifty million dollars…
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png *sigh* Here, you hold the pen and I’ll hold your hand.
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 5” which is to “Make Roger Myers Jr. “Sign” on the Dotted Line”. It takes 2 hours.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 6

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Look at all these tech weirdos and inter-dorks here to build the Itchy & Scratchy website.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Finally, I’ve got a staff to demean and humiliate. What am I supposed to yell at them to do again?
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png They’re creating an advertising supported web portal.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png It’s basically a Hulu devoted solely to Itchy & Scratchy where all the episodes ever produced can be viewed.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Do whatever the lawyer just said! And do it faster! Or I’ll pull out your throats and choke you with your own windpipes!
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Make a note of that visual. We could make a whole story out of it for the cat. Or the mouse. Whichever one does the violence.
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 6″ which is to ” Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Web Designers”. It takes 10 hours.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png I am here to inform you, Krusty, since the start of the I & S web portal for BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, you must cease all displays of Itchy & Scratchy licensed images.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You’re pulling Itchy & Scratchy? Please, no one watches my show to see me!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Everyone knows I’m the one holding me back!

Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 2

After tapping on Krusty’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png These shifty Blue-Hairs are rotting this city from the inside.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png It’s time we deal with this problem using good old fashioned 20th century methods. Like they use in Arizona.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I’ve already banned them from Krusty Burger.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Now to use my powerful connections in City Hall to lobby for a Blue-Hair ID program, Blue-Hair-only bathrooms, and eventually Blue-Hair deportation.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I’m stepping up this discrimination from de facto to de jure.
The player receives “Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 2” which is to “Make Krusty Discriminate Against Blue-Haired People”. It takes 5 hours.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png There is absolutely no way, erm, I can do what you want, Krusty. It’s plainly illegal and immoral.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png When a Quimby won’t take your bribe, you know you’ve crossed a line.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I just want to treat certain people as second-class citizens, based solely on the color of their hair. How can that be wrong?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png No politician can win an election if he’s associated with hair colourism, even an election he fixed.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png But D-Joe, they took Itchy & Scratchy from me.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You have to help me dehumanize these people. It’s the only way I can get everyone to stop thinking of them as human!

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 7

After tapping on Bart’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Lis, look outside and tell me if the world blew up!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s still here. The world is unlikely to end by explosion though.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The true danger is inattention and neglect as we use up our natural resources. I have seen the asteroid, and it is us.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png You’re as fun as ever, sis. But now we have a real problem!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Itchy & Scratchy was pulled from Krusty’s show! This is going to make wasting time watching TV pointless.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png As the super rich get super richer, the rest of us have to accept the rules they give us. That’s how the modern economy works.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png By the way, if you’re smart and powerless, it’s way cooler to give up and act jaded. I read that in The Economist For Kidz.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png This is unacceptable. What’s the point of being kids if we can’t fix problems with pluck, spunk, and …how do we fix this?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, we could round up all the kids in town and write complaint letters to Roger Myers Jr.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png This could be our civil rights movement, but instead of being about freedom from social persecution, it’s about freedom to watch TV. Because freedom is now a meaningless word.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Write letters? Would we have to use cursive? This seems too hard. Can’t we just email photos of our butts?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Anyone or any spambot can shoot off an email. But people willing to write letters, they’re crazy enough to be dangerous.
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 7” which is to “Make Kids Write Angry Letters x8“. It takes 10 hours.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 8

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png I’ve gotten so many thoughtful, articulate letters from our passionate fans. Intern, bring me the incinerator!
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Dear Leader Mr. Myers, sir, the incinerator broke yesterday, after you tried to burn the printer after another paper jam.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png A printer’s job is to print. Not eat up all my paper!
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 8” which is to “Make Roger Myers Jr. Read Hate Mail”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Taking the time to personally ignore each fan letter is so fulfilling.

Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 3

After tapping on Milhouse’s exclamation mark.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Mr. the Clown, I know you hate my kind, but can you sign one last autograph? And then initial pages 3, 5, 8, and 9?
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png How did you get in here, Blue-Hair?!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png *sigh* Never hire a monkey to run your security.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Krusty, this here is a class-action lawsuit for your blatantly discriminatory service policy.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png You can’t keep people out of Krusty Burger based on the colour of their hair.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Only on the content of their character… as evidenced by a lack of shirt and/or shoes.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You can sue someone for being a bigot?! There’s no chance I can beat a lawsuit. This town only has one lawyer.
Tapped Out Hans Moleman Icon.png I’ll be your Perry Mason, Krusto. I got a JD when someone flushed theirs into the sewer.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png This degree is from Dartmouth. I think I’m better off representing myself.
The player receives “Krusty the Hair Colourist Pt. 3” which is to “Make Milhouse Take Krusty to Court” and “Make Judge Snyder Preside Over Court Session”, and “Make Blue-Haired Lawyer Prosecute Krusty (only if the player has the Blue-Haired Lawyer). It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Today I will show this court that Krusty not only discriminated against Blue-Hair-Americans like my client and myself, but also his own father!
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png For as this picture shows, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski was born with blue hair!
Tapped Out Judge Snyder Icon.png DUNT DUNT DUN!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Oh no, Papa! How I have slandered and disgraced you!
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Once again, you’ve been Blue-Haired Lawyered!
After the quest is complete.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png My mother was born with yellow hair, my father with blue, and that adds up to me having green hair.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png It seems so obvious once I say the chromatic structure out loud.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Krusty, you can hand my client your entire net worth in either bags marked with dollar signs or chests full of coins made of gold.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Oh Mr. Lawyer, I don’t want any money.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png SHUH-WHUT?!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png All I want is for Krusty to go back to showing Itchy & Scratchy.
Tapped Out Judge Snyder Icon.png Well, I have no legal right to force one private company to work with another private company… but I just can’t resist the wish of a child.
Tapped Out Judge Snyder Icon.png Blue-Haired Lawyer, get Itchy & Scratchy back on the air!

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 9

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Nothing better to do after the completion of a lifetime of work than proclaim some exposition.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png The Itchy & Scratchy website is ready to launch. I can finally relax.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Think I’ll treat myself by making my clothes stink of tobacco.
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 9” which is to “Make Roger Myers Jr. Relax with a Cigar”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Wait, if all my work is done, who am I going to yell at? There’s too much risk of reprisal with waiters and concierges.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png I can try yelling at my cigar. Cigar, you better not give me mouth cancer!
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Oh no, this isn’t working — it’s just defiantly blowing smoke in my face.

Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 10

After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png So it’s agreed. I’ll get to yell at people to make new Itchy & Scratchy episodes, and Krusty will show them.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png That’s all I ever wanted.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Also, a percentage of that seven hundred and fifty million dollar new media sale would be great.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Seven hundred and fifty million dollars…
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Krusty, the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, has offered to pay your cable bill for one year.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png They view new episodes airing on your network as the perfect advertising for their website.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png Especially since they’re all owned by the same media conglomerate.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You make it cable AND internet, and we’ve got a deal!
The player receives “Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 10” which is to “Make Krusty Get a Piece of the Action” and “Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Animators”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png Okay, you scribbling cretins, I want you to shove amazing down my throat like I’m a French goose!
Tapped Out Roger Meyers Jr Icon.png It’s nice to be home.

Maximum Itchyload

After tapping on Bart’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Welcome to the Itchydome!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png We are surrounded on all sides by sixteen smartphones, seven tablets, four laptops, two home computers, and five TVs, making…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Thirty-four.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Thirty-four screens blasting Itchy & Scratchy straight at our eyeballs, earholes, and mushified brains.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png People, there is no escape from the entertainment.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png My nose is starting to bleed. Cool!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Now this is how TV shows were meant to be watched.
The player receives “Maximum Itchyload” which is to “Make Kids Watch Itchy & Scratchy x8“. It takes 8 hours.

 

Premium Walkthrough

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 1

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png G. Rover Gripes! Springfield?! How’d I end up back in this piddlepot town?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey everyone! We’ve got a new old coot!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s Chester Lampwick, the original creator of Itchy the Lucky mouse in 1919. Which would make him old enough to be…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png …dead?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png That’s what I should be! But somehow I ain’t!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png There, there. Why we continue to exist is a mystery to us all.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So drink up! There’s no need for answers when you can’t remeber the questions.
The player receives “Bindle There, Done That Pt. 1” which is to “Make Lampwick Look for Answers at the Bottom of a Bottle” and “Make Homer Look for Answers at the Bottom of a Bottle”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I mean, jeez, who are you? If you’re here, who’s left to return to Springfield? Señor Ding-Dong?

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 2

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png When I last was in Springfield, I had me a legally mandated fortune and fingers on my gloves.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Now I’m just another hobo with a rocket car.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png If it weren’t for this explosion changing all the rules, I’d have walked off into the cush life of a billionaire, dancing the hula in crystal houses with Rockefeller’s and Araby sheiks.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Did you ever do any of those strange words?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Hey, you don’t know the direction a night can head in! Possibilities abound!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You returned not just as an impoverished vagabond.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You’re an esteemed contributor to the legacy of a great cartoon show—Itchy & Scratchy! And I know how to prove it.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Aw, little girl, it’s nice of you to rebuild my solid gold house. Now if you can just put it by the water…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No, better than any material possession. I’ll help you experience adoration in the eyes of your young fans.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We’ll have a signing party at our house for all the kids in town!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Alright. But tell your friends to keep their sticky paws off my bindle. I hate a gunky bindle.
The player receives “Bindle There, Done That Pt. 2” which is to “Make Lampwick Sign Autographs” and “Make Children Visit Lampwick (x4)“. It takes 10 and 5 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Children of Springfield, meet the silly-named genius Chester Lampwick! The man you didn’t know you should admire but should!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *Ahem…yes.* Bindle off limits.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png What’s a bindle?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You’re holding a phone. Look it up.
After the task is COMPLETED
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png No, the violence is a metaphor! It represents all the different objects that you can stab in people’s eyes.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png You mollycoddled nollywads don’t get the subtlety of my work one drop!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mr. Lampwick, I don’t think that’s what a metaphor is—
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Pah! Why try to speak to the masses when everyone’s a nincompoop.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Being a valued member of a community is worthless.

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 3

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png What am I doing back in this place? I know I was never meant to be more than a marginal, one-off, side character.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Had me a story, and dejabbers, it was a good one! Felt like a hero then.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Now I’m just another oddball. Might as well be going up to strangers, shouting “Ooggitty boogitty!”
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Ooggitty boogitty! That’s it!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I can be something better than a hero. A weirdo who irritates people into getting what he wants.
The player receives “Bindle There, Done That Pt. 3” which is to “Build Krusty Burger” and “Make Lampwick Annoy Staff and Patrons”. It takes 2 hours.
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png May I take your order, Mr. Penniless Vagrant?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Yeah, I’ll have an ice cold soda, hold the soda, hold the ice, and fill the cup with loose change.
After the task is COMPLETED
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Here are seven Krusty Burgers, three Meat-Flavoured Sandwiches, and two The Cloggers. Take them and go!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Not sure what all this free food is going to do for this abscess in my arm pit, but if that’s what you want, young man, that’s what I’ll do.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Heh heh. Chester J., you sly, silver marmoset. Bless your pus-filled body.

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 4

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Good to see my pan handling tricks are as trusty as ever.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Time to remake the Lampwick fortune the old-fashioned way: taking it from other people.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You shouldn’t get money by begging. This is America.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Find a job, go to work, and duck your responsibilities while you collect pay checks you don’t deserve, like the rest of us.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png You think this is the life I wanted?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png If I had my druthers, I’d be an internationally celebrated cartoonist, or I’d live under a tree made of diamonds, whose nuts are smaller diamonds I could sell above market price.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png No, I didn’t get to choose my fate. I just gotta play the role I was assigned, and make the best of it.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Which means escaping my role and changing my fate!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Soon, this cat will once again be a top dog.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So you dream of being the opposite of a hobo. What would that be exactly… an “oboh”?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png That’s not the opposite of hobo, ya crack brained cretin.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png The opposite of a word is that word backwards AND upside down. I’m going to be an “oqoy”.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Wanna know how to pronounce “oqoy”? It’s “LAMPWICK!”
The player receives “Bindle There, Done That Pt. 4” which is to “Make Lampwick Rely on the Generosity of Others”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png All that time shaking my hand can, and all I’ve got is a single, lousy dollar?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png The people in this town are the opposite of good! They’re “poo6”!

Bindle There, Done That Pt. 5

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I can still Vanderbilt my way back to the top. All I need to do is invest this in the hobo’s stock market.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png One lotto Scratch-R, my snake-charming friend.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Thank you for the stereotype I am not thankful for.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Would you like a regular Scratch-R or the high-roller Golden Scratch-R, reserved for only the best…of whoever is willing to pay for it?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Give me the fancy one. I’ve got a feeling that on this day Chester J. can’t lose!
The player receives “Bindle There, Done That Pt. 5” which is to “Make Lampwick Buy a Golden Scratch-R”. It takes 1 hour.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Doughnuts?! That’s what I get for my buck?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png What nob-headed ninnies would want doughnuts instead of actual money?
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png You should show more respect for the power of the doughnut. They are the most powerful currency of all.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png They are how you are even here!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Consarnable pastries! If these garbage rings are how I got here, I’d rather have garbage.

Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 1

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Someone paid good money just to torture me with poverty?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fuelled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png That secret Midget Little Vicki!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Little Vicki Valentine, Hollywood’s little princess?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The talented star of sixty-one films and TV shows, and countless Broadway plays because the internet won’t count them for me?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png That’s the flapper.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png In 1963, I crashed some snooty awards party. All I wanted was a shrimp cocktail. So I get in line for one, right behind Little Vicki.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png As we get to the front, I notice there are only two glasses of shrimp left.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Just as I’m about to get mine, Little Vicki takes them both! Says one’s for a friend.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png If your friend wants an s-cocktail, your friend should wait in line for an s-cocktail!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png A haughty Sheba who snatches shrimp out of the little guys’ mouths, those people are the true scum of the earth.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I’ve got to warn Springfield. For evil has arrived.
The player receives “Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 1” which is to “Make Lampwick Rant about Little Vicki”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Guard your shrimp! Little Vicki may walk among you!

Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 2

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I think I finally figured out why I’m back in Springfield, little girl. It’s not for money or respect. It’s for…
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png REVENGE!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mr. Lampwick, I’m still not sure your crusade against Little Vicki is the best pursuit.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png She’s one of America’s finest actresses, and the first ever winner of the Kiddie Academy Awards!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I know all about her award record. If you ask me, she lied about her age!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png She kept saying, “I’m the youngest actress to ever win an award, and now I am about to get my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!”
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Ever check her teeth? Never once did her fake baby teeth ever fall out!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Or that curly hair of hers… a wig, I tell ya! She had me thrown out of the party when I attempted to yank that mop off!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Like I’m telling ya, an awful human being. I saw her clean the earwax out of her ears using her house keys. Disgusting.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Now Dame Judith Underdunk, she was a celebrity with class.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Would remember your name, your birthday, and even bake you a cake. Had a handshake like George Washington’s.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The Springfield Library keeps thorough entertainment news records. We can check to verify your story…
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png And I can take a bath in their sink and dry myself on some useless, old books. Public libraries—the Hobo’s Hilton.
The player receives “Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 2” which is to “Build Springfield Library”, “Make Lampwick Do Research”, and “Make Lisa Do Research” It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Ah, fresh as a wilted rose! Nothing gives a man reason to look and smell his best better than a bellyful of dumb rage.

Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 3

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Springfield, we must protect ourselves from the forces of Little Vicki! Discard all signs of the Queen of Babylon!
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Sir, don’t damage those DVDs of Little Vicki for President.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png If I mark the price down any lower, I will have to pay people to take them. And even then they will say, “Little Vicki for President? Ugh.”
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png We must cease worshipping her, and free ourselves from her narrative tyranny!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png She can no longer control us, forcing us to engage in silly behaviour for her amusement!
The player receives “Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 3” which is to “Make Lampwick Battle the Forces of Vicki” It takes 6 hours.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png It’s nice to feel like I finally have something to contribute.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png DEATH TO LITTLE VICKI!

Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 4

After tapping on Lisa’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mr. Lampwick! Mr. Lampwick! My research uncovered something you should know about your reason for existing.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Is it how to create a Little Vicki-proof barrier around any home or shanty town?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You said Little Vicki was getting her star on the Walk of Fame. But she got her star in 1960, not 1963.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Also, the Walk of Fame parties only served shrimp cocktail in 1964…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The same year Dame Judith Underdunk got her star on the walk!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I believe the evil curly haired woman who took your shrimp was not Little Vicki, but in fact the Dame Judith Underdunk!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png So… everything I believe in is a lie?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Isn’t that great?!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh. Only now do I realize how that might not be so great…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png …and that’s beside the fact that I helped put her in prison!
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Guess I’ll never know why I got saddled with this bum’s life. Fate or chance or Little Vicki, I gotta make the best of it.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png There’s no point in trying to anticipate the answers to why we’re here.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png The essence of life is its mystery, and only when we accept that can we focus on living.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Samuel Beckett was right. Hobos do possess a deeper insight.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I know the perfect job for you, if you’re willing to work for free cafeteria food.
The player receives “Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 4” which is to “Make Lampwick Star in a School Production of Waiting for Godot” It takes 3 hours.
Tapped Out Chalmers Icon.png Magnificent performance, Mr. Lampwick!
Tapped Out Chalmers Icon.png This high school hasn’t been so moved since the days Moleman bloodied our stage in Richard the II.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Thank you. And shove it. I have to spout a bunch of frufru nonsense AND choke down dry Salisbury steak?
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Forget it! I’d rather dine on juicy rotisserie pigeon, hot off the trash can.

Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 5

After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Whew. Trying to find a purpose for my existence has tuckered me out.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I hope someone thought to give you a job at the homeless shelter.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Or at least a job to stay with everyone else in the brown house.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I don’t need shelter.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png I have the one thing that truly matters, the one thing no one can take from me: my fantasies of destroying all who have wronged me.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I was hoping you’d say “human dignity.” But “destroying others” is an alternative.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png Take care. And have a goodnight, little victim number twelve.
The player receives “Hobo You Didn’t! Pt. 5” which is to “Make Lampwick Sleep Under a Newspaper” It takes 12 hours.
Tapped Out Chester J. Lampwick Icon.png You’re going to get it. You’re all going to get it! Especially whoever gave me this storyline and all his accomplices!
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3 thoughts on “Level 42

  1. Pingback: Level 42 Level Guide Now Available! | Tapped Out Daily

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