Level 44

Level44.png


 

Should I Buy The Happy Sumo (COMING SOON)

Should I Buy The Bonsai Plant (COMING SOON)


Characters

Image Character Unlock message
Database.png Database Tapped Out Database New Character.png
Akira.png Akira Tapped Out Akira New Character.png
Tapped Out Mr. Teeny.png Mr. Teeny Tapped Out Mr. Teeny Unlock.png

Buildings

Image Name Cost Build time Character Unlocked
Tapped Out Honest John's Computers.png Honest John’s Computers Cash.png1,058,000 24 Hours Database
Tapped Out The Happy Sumo.png The Happy Sumo Donut Tapped Out.png100  6 Seconds Akira

Squidport

Image Name Cost Build time
Tapped Out Bloaters at the Squidport.png Bloaters at the Squidport Cash.png487,500  24 Hours

Decorations

Image Name Cost
Tapped Out Plum Tree.png Plum Tree Cash.png325
Tapped Out Bonsai.png Bonsai Donut Tapped Out.png12

Gameplay

Database Recovery Pt. 1

After the player logs in
Tapped Out Power Plant Icon.png MELTDOWN IMMINENT. MELTDOWN IMMINENT. LAST CHANCE TO CARRY NO REGRETS.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Homer, good God, what are you doing?!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png You can’t let an elephant drink up all the reactor coolant!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png It may be an incredible visual for all of us who can see inside the power plant, but it’s also very dangerous.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What, so I should let this majestic creature slurp water from a curb puddle like some common hippo?
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Spit out that coolant, Schnoozo!
Stampy *trunk blast*
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Homer, why ya trying to blow up the town for the…
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png …third time? Sixth? I lost count a while ago.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png This Springfield is a crummy imitation of the old one, and everyone named Homer knows it!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Why it’s missing this town’s most famous landmark — Honest John’s Computers!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Are you guys talking about Honest John’s Computers? Man, I miss that place.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Sure, Honest John’s was the beating heart of this ‘burg. No one’s disputing that.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I always loved how it looks like an auto-body shop, even though they sold ‘puters.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png But I don’t need to describe what Honest John’s looks like. It’s an image we all treasure.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Truly, I would rather be mayor of North Korea than run a Springfield without Honest John’s.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Then let’s just rebuild it in the town we have.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Trust me, no one wants to start at the beginning remaking this thing.
The player receives “Database Recovery Pt. 1” which is to “Build Honest John’s Computers”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Gaaah! By Dr. Who’s Tardis, I’m back!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Thank you for tirelessly working for my return, good citizens.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Who the hells is that?

Database Recovery Pt. 2

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Delicious. To once more smell the grass and hear the jingles of home is wondrous.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Again, whose is ya again?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I heard we got a new kid! Is it…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png …oh, it’s Database. I was hoping for Hubert Wong.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I promise my presence will delight and–
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Whatever, nerdburger.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We’ve got Honest John’s back! Time to celebrate by browsing marked up computers and computer accessories!
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Ah, Honest John’s. Such a magical place!
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Why, their counting machines melt my hard drive into a floppy disk.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png That is not accurate to–
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ignore the child! To Honest John’s and the Springfield of our dreams!
The player receives “Database Recovery Pt. 2” which is to “Make Townspeople Hang Out at Honest John’s Computers (x10)” and “Make Database Be Alone”. It takes 6 and 24 hours.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png This mousepad looks like it’s made of cheese. Oh bless you, Honest John’s! Bless you!

Bonsai Vivant Pt. 1

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Lisa! Want to spend time bonding as social equals? You’re the only Superfriend this town has.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I fear Ham is lost for all eternity.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I’d really like to, Data…Data…
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Database! Like the structured assemblage of information that can be sorted, modified, and deleted.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You seem neat and all, but I need to get to Honest John’s. I want to buy up their USB memory sticks.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png They’ll be valuable, vintage collectibles once the aughts nostalgia craze happens.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Oh. Okay. I guess I can focus on the hobby I’m famous for.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png …Is it wheezing?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Bonsai!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Haven’t you noticed whenever Bart’s skateboarding or you’re rejecting Milhouse, I’m in the background, next to a tiny tree? It’s impossible to miss.
The player receives “Bonsai Vivant Pt. 1” which is to “Make Database Plant Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.

Bonsai Vivant Pt. 2

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Ahhhh. Nothing is as relaxing as the ancient art of bonsai. It’s way, WAY better than having friends.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png In fact, there’s a lot of scholarship about how plants can actually listen.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Are you eavesdropping on me right now, my baby Ent?
Bonsai
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Well, dorks are cool nowadays, so I take your barbs as a compliment.
Bonsai
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Quiet, Bonnie!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png And you better not scream when I prune you.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png It’s no worse than a haircut, if hair were connected to the nervous system.
The player receives “Bonsai Vivant Pt. 2” which is to “Make Database Prune Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.
Bonsai !!!

Bonsai Vivant Pt. 3

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Oh, you came out nice, Bonnie.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Now where can I get an ethnologically accurate pot to place you in?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png May I be of service, sad weirdo?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png As a Japanese person who does many Japanese-y things, I know much about bonsai.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png My country created the practice to take our minds off tentacle pornography.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Actually, bonsai originated in China, where it is called penjing or penzai.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png As early as the 6th century, diplomats took samples back to Japan and replanted the art form there.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Well, when my ancestors stole the idea, they yelled, “No backsies!” So it’s pretty much ours.
The player receives “Bonsai Vivant Pt. 3” which is to “Make Database Re-pot Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Thank you, Akira. You’ve really Japanesed up my little tree something proper.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png That’s what I’m here for. Unless… I am not here.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png As the famous Zen proverb explains: rain cannot make a flower grow nor wind fill a sail, if it has not been purchased from in-app premium content.
MESSAGE: Get Akira from the Build Menu to grow more Bonsai at the Happy Sumo.
MESSAGE: Or purchase Bonsai for a few donuts each in the Build Menu.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Hello, other children. Would anyone like to see my miniature forest?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I would be happy to make one for you for the low, low price of social interaction.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Eh, we good. We’re all busy at the moment.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Still RAMbunctious to take a BYTE out of Honest John’s and C++ what more they have?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I used wordplay to show that I’m fun.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Wordplay is never fun.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Anything you learn at school – words, numbers, self-identity and how to form meaningful peer relationships – is lame.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I like wordplay–
Tapped Out Database Icon.png FRIEND!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh, thanks for your bonsai offer, Database. But while we’re done with Honest John’s, we’ve moved on to other things.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I’m poking a hive of dying yellow jackets with a dried-up highlighter.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png And I’m leaning my rather large nose waaaay too close–
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Children, whatever time it is, it’s time for school!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png So you better not be busy on one of your so-called “missions.”
Tapped Out Database Icon.png School! There’s no way people can avoid interacting with me once they lock the doors!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png *sigh* That did not sound good. Self-awareness brings so much misery.
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1” which is to “Make Database Go to School” and “Make Children Go to School (x8)“. It takes 6 hours.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I forgot I’m in the Gifted Child program. Which in Springfield means my classes are by myself.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png Sshhh! Don’t let Lisa hear you. I need her to stay in my class to raise the GPA, so I can keep my J-O-B.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png I spelled “job” correctly, right?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Yes, Miss Hoover.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png And have tomorrow’s lesson plan to me by 10pm tonight.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png I like to review it while my kelp-and-volcanic-mud facial sets.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Hey Martin! We are like-minded types, i.e. losers, i.e. people who say i.e. — want to hang?
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Hang? Now?
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png I seem to recall wanting to “hang” once upon a more convenient hour, only to be turned aside like a Timon of Athens or other lesser work of The Bard.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to join Superfriends, Martin.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png The week we formed it you were a theater ponce, not a tech weenie.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png You change your interests around a lot.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png I am a general, catch-all dork-type and everyone knows it!
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Now good day, sir!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Martin, we can be Superfriends 2.0. That’s a reference to software upgrades I just thought of–
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png I SAID GOOD DAY!
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2” which is to “Make Martin Ride a Bike”. It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Ahhhh. Nothing restores balance to the mind like an 8 hour bike ride.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png So have you thought over Superfriends 2.0 yet? Think we got a real winner of a notion, I do.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png C’mon, Database. Take a hint. I said, “I SAID GOOD DAY” and everything.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Oh. “Good day” means “go away.” I get it now.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png In this town, people can find you and talk to you no matter where you are or they are. That is super creepy.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Though it does explain why we have no phones.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3

After tapping on Dolph’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Dolph Icon.png Hey dweebus, you look sad. If you miss the old Springfield, I can make this place seem just like it.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Uh, your words sound like a set up to beating me up.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png What? Dolph was expressing sincere thoughts of concern.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png He started off by insulting me.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I thought he was insinuating he’d make new Springfield seem more familiar by hitting me, as he used to do in the past.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png One: Dolph uses insults to couch his emotions. That’s just how Dolph is.
Tapped Out Dolph Icon.png Thanks for getting me, Nelson Butt-Muntz.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Two: We were going to suggest visiting places that were important to you in the old town, and forging a new connection with those places.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png It helps us get through the day.
Tapped Out Dolph Icon.png You do not get to tell me when I am expressing empathy or not, D-Base!
Tapped Out Dolph Icon.png You don’t know me! You’re not my dream journal!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I’m sorry, Dolph, truly I am.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png We’re bullies, so we don’t really do apologies. By our code, there’s only one way to gain forgiveness.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I understand. Please avoid breaking my glasses, if you can.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Whoever is in charge has yet to build an optometrist’s office.
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3” which is to “Make Database Get Bullied”. It takes 8 hours.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4

After tapping on Nelson’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png If I had been asked before what body part would be sorest after pounding on a nerd, I wouldn’t have said the wrists.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png But my arm wigglers are barking!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Thanks for spending some time with me, guys.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png If you want to meet up to bully me again, I’m open.
Tapped Out Dolph Icon.png I feel unclean inside. I need a bikini carwash for my soul.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Doesn’t have to be a serious thing. I get you have a lot going on.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Just when you’ve got no one better to pick on, you know.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Keep your giant, creep-o head away from us, D-Base!
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png You’ve taken the purity of hurting those weaker than you and made it seem disgusting.
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4” which is to “Make Database Bully Himself”. It takes 1 hour.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5

After tapping on Marge’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Why are you walking around like a humdrum little glum bum. Did someone make fun of your glasses?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png No. What’s wrong with my glasses?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Uh… nothing.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Nothing could be wrong with wearing Sally Jesse Raphael’s binoculars. It’s a flattering look.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I bet I know something that’ll pick that chin up. I’m kind of the Number One mom around here.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Don’t tell Manjula or Bernice I said that.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png All you need to succeed is to be yourself. If you’re yourself, then everyone has to like you!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png That’s it! That’s exactly how I’ll get this town to like me!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Mom Number One does it again!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I’m glad you let me give you some advice. The only time I get to spend guiding my children is when I walk Maggie.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Actually, your advice was total gibberish.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png How can I be anybody but myself?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Even if I’m uncertain or lying, that’s still me. Only dimwit actors pretend to be other people.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png For the rest of us, even our pretenses are just explorations of different aspects of our personalities.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png What was useful is that what you said was totally idiotic.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Most of what people say is totally idiotic. If they could just see that, then they’d realize they aren’t superior to me.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png And then they’ll be willing to be my friends!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png If this is being yourself, then you were right. That advice was terrible.
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5” which is to “Make Database Browse Magazines on Code”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I just need to find the magazine that contains the source code for the universe.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Let’s see: Matrixweek, Matrix Illustrated, Matrix People, McSweeney’s Matrix Report, Matrix & Garden…
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Eureka! EA Guide! It’s just like TV Guide, only nothing like it!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png This should detail the programming language of our world, which is how I normally talk as I’m a nerd.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6

After tapping on Database’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Prof. Frink, whether you’re here or not, I need to talk to you!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Yes, my young glaven! What goofball science need caused you to seek me out?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I’m trying to build a machine that unlocks the code of the universe, so I can make it visible to all.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png This isn’t for the hacking and the malware spreading and the free donuts that lose potential corporate income?
Tapped Out Database Icon.png No. I just want to show people that they’re worthless morons so they’ll agree to be my friends.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Ok. Well, that’s fine.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png You get the fake technology you need from my brand-name line, sold exclusively at Honest John’s Computers.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Honest John’s? They carry gloybal circuits AND moyven sprockets?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png They better.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I didn’t put my face on a display table to sell a bunch of tablets and graphing calculators.
The player receives “Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6” which is to “Make Database Nerd Out” and “Make Prof. Frink Help Database with Crazy Science”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png You’ve done it! Your very first cartoonishly nonsensical contraption. I’m so proud!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Thanks. In some way, I feel I have already accomplished my goal.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png For I have made a friend in you.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Yes, oy-um. But you can’t count on me.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I’m premium and you’re regular — it’s a friendship that some cheapskates won’t allow.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Also, once you build a machine, you’ve got to flip the on switch.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Even the hydrogen bomb got a test drive.

99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 1

After tapping on Homer’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, what’s going on? How come I can read me saying, “Hey, what’s going on?”
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I can read what you said too, Homer.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png And I can read what I’m saying right now! That means, youz alls can read my speak-a-ma-goos.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Ew boy. If a bartender can’t curse out patrons under his breath, his mind will snap like a twig.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Don’t be afraid.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I’ve just hacked the code of our universe – which is definitely a real thing – to show all of you exactly what you say.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png SHUUUUUUUHB?!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Exactly!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Abstract guttural noises. Nonsense phrases doubling as slang. Strained pop culture references.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Now do you see how much pointless speech fills your lives?!
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I’ve always known that. But you don’t see me being a jerk about it.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Self-awareness may be painful, but it’s also an opportunity to grow.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Having to see and read what we say will force us to confront how we treat each other. This will spur us on to improve ourselves.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Counterpoint: Texting.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png I’m not sure Springfield has enough room for these yap yap bubbles. The town’s borders are, ahm, a tad inflexible.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png And now that you know I know, please stop sending me comments about it.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Oh, just tap on what’s said and you can send it away—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooooooo!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Now how do I get rid of the “Ooooooo”?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Uh… what’s it that I gotta do again?
The player receives “99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 1” which is to “Make Springfielders Tap Away their Thoughts (x15), “Make Homer Tap Away his Thoughts” and “Make Database Bask in his Achievement”. It takes 16 hours.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I feel honored people are–
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png People are enjoying what I—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Made. The greatest achievement is the joy—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Oh lord, what have I—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.

99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hmmm.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ZZZ…tap…ZZZ
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, everyone in town can—
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge, sweetie, that was an accident. I, of course, wanted to hear the entirety of your worried nagging.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Hey yammer bags, clamp those lips, or I will staple gun them shut!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I’m trying to. But every time I get rid of these speechy thingums, another one takes its place.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png SEE!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D’oh!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Before you get caught in a loop, Dad, might I advise you to just tap silently.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Then the word “tap” won’t appear, needing you to tap it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Got it. Thanks, Lisa.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I tried.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Why do any of you read all these stupid letter jumbles we barf?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png If they’re annoying you, I’ll show you how to deal with them.
The player receives “99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 2” which is to “Make Bart Skateboard (x3)“. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Every time I say this I’m incredulous, but Bart’s right.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We should go out and be active and live our lives instead of commenting on them.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That may be true. I know I have more important things to do.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png But I feel bad ignoring all this dialog. People put a lot of time into it–
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Tap.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D’oh!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Yeah, I really gotta start doing something better with my time.

99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png gldfhklfkj *hiccup*
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png ylkv%#fr *hiccup*
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png ylkv%#fr *hiccup*
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png $$$$$$ *vomit*
Tapped Out Database Icon.png How come everyone is making even less sense than usual?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Exhausted by having to constantly reflect on their words, most have sought refuge in the incoherency of alcohol.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Lisa, I’m not sure you’re any more central than you were before, if you still only say exposition.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, well now I say a lot more of it. So there.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png If what you say is true, no one can claim they’re too busy to spend quality time with me.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Who wants to play a board game where we compete to determine price earnings ratio for the 15th century Hanseatic League?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I’m afraid that answer will undoubtedly be no one.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Except me, of course, but only if I get to be Lübeck. Love me some Lübeck.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Don’t you get it?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You can’t get people to want to quote unquote ‘hang’ with you by making the rest of their lives worse.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png But how they now experience the world is how I do all the time!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png SHUUUUUUUHB?!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Ugh, did I just say “SHUUUUUUUHB?!”? I’m becoming more like my father every day.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png I’m very well aware that everything I do, even the very sound of my voice, is a nerd cliché.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png It’s like I was designed by a team of self-loathing losers as an effigy of all the things they hated about themselves as kids.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png As if they could expunge their pasts by watching me be burned in flames of youthful humiliation.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Ugh, who says such things? I can’t take being exposed to such thoughts any longer.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png It’s time I joined these drooling, oblivious morlocks.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Schlerffftttp!
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png No, you can’t!
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Primo, you’re underage. Secunda, your brain is a gift.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Database, you’ve shown your intelligence has the power to change the world.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You just need to learn how to harness that ability to improve the lives of others.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Or at least entertain them at a moderately successful rate. Like 63%.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Maybe 42% after you’ve built up enough good will.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png I, for one, would be glad to join you on your journey toward fulfillment. If you would have me, Superfriend.
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Aw.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png To begin such a journey, I recommend following a spiritual practice to gain control over your emotions.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You never hear of the Dalai Lama getting in a bar fight, do you?
The player receives “99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 2” which is to “Make Database Meditate”. It takes 12 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png By the way, I know most of what I just said was exposition. But I said it to help you.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So don’t sass off about it.

Bloatation Device

After tapping on Moe’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Youz guys, I don’t see no more words no more! I can go back to not being sure how youz is spelled.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Should I include an ‘e’? Should I not? Two ‘o’ vowels back-to-back like ‘booze’? I ain’t at all sure!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Yes. I reset the universe code to the way it was. And to make up for messing with everyone, I even managed to pry out some of those donuts you all like.
Tapped Out Martin Icon.png Yay! We can all be welcome to Superfriends 2.0!
Tapped Out Database Icon.png Superfriends 2.0.1. Don’t forget the latest patch!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh Database. Life is going to be hard for you.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png At least until college.
The player receives “99 Luft-Word-Balloons Pt. 2” which is to “Make Database Go for Shakes”, “Make Martin Go for Shakes”, Make Lisa Go for Shakes”. It takes 12 hours.

Yellow Blues

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Ah, Springfield! It is pleasing to return to you, where I can do and say things referencing the culture of Japan.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png I had feared I was trapped in yomi, the underground home of the dead in Shintoism. See, I’m doing it already.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It’s terrific you’re back, Akira!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Between you and me, Springfield has been looking awfully yellow lately.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Is that comment…because I’m Asian?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png WHUUUUT?!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png NO! No, I love races! And colors!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png In fact, rainbow is my favorite sherbet flavor.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png How could the color yellow apply to Asians? You’re more pale than we are.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Bart! You’re not helping.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Even though I possess an awareness of racist ideas like “yellowface” and “yellow peril”, when I look at my hands, I have to admit the boy is right.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, you can’t use those terms! They’re only for fellow yellows to use with each other!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Mr. Homer, I have acted dishonorably and brought shame to my ancestors, two ways of feeling that pop culture says are appropriately Japanese-y.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png To make amends, please bring your family to The Happy Sumo for a free dinner.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Alright! Why let anger eat away at you when you can eat away your anger?
The player receives “Yellow Blues” which is to “Make Akira Work a 24 Hour Shift” and “Make The Simpsons Family Take Advantage of a Free Mea (x6)“. It takes 6 and 24 hours.

Fuguaboutit Pt. 1

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Where are my loyal customers? The Happy Sumo used to be Springfield’s Number One non-Krusty based restaurant.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png We were *the* place to go for food-based dares!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Well, the culinary scene has gotten more adventurous since you’ve been gone.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Many Springfields already have a sushi establishment, Swanky Fish. And their health department grade is an A, I say with an accusing ‘ahem.’
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png So I have competition now? They may have superior sushi. But do they also serve sashimi?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Yes. They do both.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Sushi and sashimi? That’s our entire menu!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png I need to grab customers’ attention. Now is the time for the return of FUGU!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Dumb thrill seekers provide great word of mouth.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png On an unrelated note, how do you prepare Fugu?
The player receives “Fuguaboutit Pt. 1” which is to “Make Akira Serve Questionable Fugu” and “Make Springfielders Eat Questionable Fugu (x10)“. It takes 1 and 2 hours.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png On behalf of my food-poisoned clients, I hope they all recover quickly, or you’re in big trouble.
Tapped Out Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png On behalf of my 20% of any settlement, I hope at least one dies. I really like money.

Fuguaboutit Pt. 2

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png A class-action lawsuit is only a small setback.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Swanky Fish may have better tasting food that doesn’t make people sick.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png But they can’t beat us on our cheapness or our willingness to operate at a loss.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png No one cares about quality when the samples are free.
The player receives “Fuguaboutit Pt. 2” which is to “Make Akira Hand Out Sushi Samples”. It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png People will be sold on the deliciousness of our raw fish once they’ve tried these day old pieces, warmed under the beating sun!

Demographic Rude-ity Pt. 1

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png I think I saw an alien while I was out. He was actually a pretty nice guy/thing.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Turned out, we both really like raw dolphin meat.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png By the way, where are all the Asian people.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Are they all crammed into the Buddhist monastery, burning offerings to their ancestors? That is a good time.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah… Asian people… Comic Book Guy now has a Japanese wife.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png That fat, hairy kaiju?! Is she a horrific creature from the sea as well?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No, she’s very pretty. And really easy to talk to. And smart.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Doesn’t say a lot of jokes though, but no worse than any other woman in town.
The player receives “Demographic Rude-ity Pt. 1” which is to “Build Springfield Buddhist Temple” and “Make Akira Discretely Talk About Double Standards”. It takes 12 hours.

Demographic Rude-ity Pt. 2

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Hey, um, where are the Asian people?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Heh… sooooo, remember when I mentioned Comic Book Guy’s wife?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Yeah. That may or may not have been a long time ago, but it was just one conversation back.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Sooooo… you and her are it.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png What?! I’ve seen a space alien! Are you telling me there are half as many space aliens in this town as there are Asian people?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png There are actually possibly three aliens in this town… if the town belongs to a big spender.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png THREE SPACE ALIENS?! There are more space aliens than Asian people?!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, there is Apu. Does Indian count as Asian?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Our potato-headed, whiskey-soaked papist mayor is about to get an angry Asian earful.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png And before you tell me what I said was racist, I never said Japanese people aren’t racist. Just that this is messed up.
The player receives “Demographic Rude-ity Pt. 2” which is to “Make Akira Take on City Hall”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png I hear you and understand your frustration. This issue is hotter than spicy kimchi!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png That’s Korean.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Er, is that the wrong type of youse? Siracha? Does that work?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png This meeting has not gone well.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Here me out in full. The 2010 Census says that 5.6% of the US population is Asian.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png By my count, we have more than 150 possible individuals in Springfield, not including outfits—
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png How many of those individuals speak? I bet you’re counting pets!
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Limiting to only those who have said things, we have over 100 men, women, children, and whoozits like that.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Counting you, Kumiko, and Nasapota…the Apus, we have an almost 5% Asian population. Demographically, we’re pretty on par with the country.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Additionally, three quarters of Asian-Americans are concentrated in 10 states. Perhaps Springfield isn’t in one of those states.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png We might be a little more diverse than you give us credit for…speaking relative only to the least diverse parts of America.

A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 1

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png That meeting was maddening.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Where is Cookie Kwan? Where is Hubert Wong and his parents?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Where are Tetsuo and Kaneda, my best friends that everyone in Springfield’s Asian-American community know and love?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png TETSUO! KANEDA!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Breathe, Akira, and visualize mini trees.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png If I focus on my bonsai, it will help me stay zen, and other Japanese-y things. Anime.
The player receives “A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 1” which is to “Make Akira Plant a Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.

A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 2

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Aw, it’s like a bushy baby Groot. Baby Groot – heh heh – time for a branch cut.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png This adorable little plant is totally taking my mind off the clear racial imbalance in how people return to this town.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Who needs equal treatment of many when I can work on me?
The player receives “A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 2” which is to “Make Akira Prune Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.

A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 3

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Re-potting a bonsai gives it fresh nutrients and helps it remain strong.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png It’s as if when you live in a small, contained place, you need to change the old soil – kick up the environment – to keep yourself from wilting and dying.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Could that somehow be a metaphor for life? Springfield equals “small place.”
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png The stagnant lack of diversity equals “old soil.” And what would keep us from wilting and dying? Ah…
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png No, Akira! Bonsai is your time to let go.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Bury your ambitions way down inside where they can be forgotten and never disturb you again.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png So yeah… uh… cute tree description something something pot?
The player receives “A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 3” which is to “Make Akira Re-pot Bonsai”. It takes 12 hours.
Message Make Akira Plant, Prune and Re-pot to get more Bonsai!

A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 4

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Ah ha! A perfect bonsai to plant. No one else in Springfield has these unique and mad skills.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png This is why we need to increase diversity. Think of all the useful and impressive stereotypes that can’t be given expression.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Who is to do manis and pedis? Who does math moderately better than others? Who dry cleans clothes using ancient secrets?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png By placing this tree into the ground, I let an idea take root. Expanding the representation of cultures adds value to all communities.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Also, that I rock at bonsai.
The player receives “A Deep Bonsai of Relief Pt. 4” which is to “Build Bonsai (x3)“.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You know, your skill isn’t that special. Any bozo like me can just buy your precious crooked shrub with donuts.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png But to be able to do without donuts what you need donuts to do, that is a special skill indeed.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What are you trying to say, Yoda?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Having me do it saves you donuts.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Donuts I can use on other things? Ah, you are wise! Can I call you sensei?
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Okay. But only if the term has nothing to do with my race, and only applies because of my incredible intelligence.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sure. Whatever works for you.

Sensei You, Sensei Me Pt. 1

After tapping on Homer’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sensei, if you want to show how awesome your ancestral culture is, I know a better way than shoving midget trees everywhere.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Use your ability to kick ass to prove you guys are kickass!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Homer, you think being breathtakingly powerful at martial arts will excite people more than being good with vegetables?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yuh huh!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Homer-san, please join me, but only if you have appropriate attire. When it comes to violence, I am very strict about wardrobe.
The player receives “Sensei You, Sensei Me Pt. 1” which is to “Make Akira Karate Time”. It takes 8 hours.

Sensei You, Sensei Me Pt. 2

After tapping on Akira’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Why do you want me to say this?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Just do it! Just do it! Just do it!
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png I still don’t understand what the point is.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Trust me. Doing karate was awesome, right? I promise this will be even awesomer.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Ok. Here goes. *clears throat*
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Oh my!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png He he he. You sound just like him.
The player receives “Sensei You, Sensei Me Pt. 2” which is to “Make Akira Impersonate a Character from Star Trek”. It takes 12 hours.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png That isn’t Sulu. Sulu tried to buy weed and go to White Castle.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Grrrrr. I hate the passage of time.

I Think I’m Turning Japanese (Because I Am Japanese)

After tapping on Kumiko’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Kumiko Icon.png Akira-san, I heard of your efforts to diversify Springfield. I wanted to applaud you on your efforts, as valiant as ineffective.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Ah, Kumiko-chan, it is nice to meet you. Lisa was right. You are easy to talk to, and rarely get jokes to say.
Tapped Out Kumiko Icon.png Actually, I am quite funny. But only in Japanese, the best language for all comedy.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png I could use a laugh. Let us converse in the tongue of our ancestors, and practice speaking behind everyone else’s back without them knowing.
The player receives “I Think I’m Turning Japanese (Because I Am Japanese)” which is to ” Make Akira Speak Japanese with Kumiko”. It takes 6 hours.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png Ha ha! That is hilarious, Kumiko.
Tapped Out Akira Icon.png What makes it even funnier is how it’s impossible to translate into English.

One thought on “Level 44

  1. Pingback: Level 44 Level Guide Now Available! | Tapped Out Daily

Leave a Comment?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s