PREMIUM: Honest Abe & Lincoln Overtime

Honest Abe Pt. 1

Buy & Build Tapped Out Lincolns cabin.png
New Character Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln New Character.png
 

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark

Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Four scores and seven years ago, our forefathers—
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png WHAT THE? WHERE DID GETTYSBURG GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHAT’S WITH ALL THE BLUE HOUSES?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Good glaven, it’s Abraham Lincoln!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png The cashing-in of so many expensive donuts must have opened a wormhole to the past, ensnaring our sixteenth President!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png By Jingo, my good nerd! Are you talking about t-t-t-t…time travel?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I am. Tell me –- in your own time period, have you ever had contact with the ancestors of the Simpsons?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png He did once. It was only a few lines of dialog, though. It’s kind of hard to see how that justifies him appearing here.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png It does seem odd. Odd and desperate!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png This is a lot to digest. I need to relax, by doing the funnest, most rewarding activity in the world…
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 1” which is to “Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails”. It takes 8 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 2

After tapping on Lisa’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mr. Lincoln, did you know that our country now has its first African-American president? Pretty amazing, huh?
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Well, it took long enough. I would’ve thought it’d happen by 1920. 1930 at the latest.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, there were some setbacks along the way…
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png No, no! You all go right on patting yourselves on the back for being a bit less racist after 150 years. Well done. Seriously, you guys rock.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh… hey look! Over there! Unsplit rails!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Unsplit rails? Let me at ’em!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 2” which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails. It takes 8 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 3

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png So when do I get to go back to my own time?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Soon. I just need to de-gloiven the hoyvenmaven, then it’s a simple matter of breaking every law of the physical universe, and pressing this big red button.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Excellent. Really looking forward to finishing up the Civil War, serving my term in office, then enjoying a long retirement.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png What? What did I say? Why are you looking at me all weird?
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 3” which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid. It takes 8 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 4

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png How come every time I mention how much I’m looking forward to retiring, starting an alpaca farm and living to a ripe old age, people get awkward and change the subject?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So… how IS the weather in D.C. this time of year?
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Now you’re doing it! Why? Are alpacas not a sound investment?
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png You can be honest — I’m not married to the idea. It just seemed like a fun way to pass my many, many Golden Years.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 4” which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Feel Paranoid. It takes 8 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 5

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Okay, something terrible happens to me sometime after I go back to 1865. What is it?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh… I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Then I’ll use your public library to find the answer for myself!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 5”, which is to “Reach level 12 and Build Springfield Library” and “Make Abraham Lincoln Research Abraham Lincolns Fate”. It takes 24 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 6

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Unbelievable! Your library stocks nothing but romance novels and books of something called “Sudoku”.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png That’s all anyone reads anymore
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Kid, you gotta tell me what happens to me. Am I in danger? Do I die or something? Because I will do literally ANYTHING to prevent that.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Nothing is more precious to me than my life. I would gladly let the South win the war if it meant five seconds more of precious, precious living for Honest Abe.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png History remembers what a huge coward I was, right?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh… no. We have a pretty high opinion of you.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Great. Listen, I’m gonna get this beard trimmed. While I do, I suggest you seriously reconsider telling me the truth!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 6” which is to “Reach level 16 and Build Jake’s Unisex Hair Palace” and “Make Abraham Lincoln Get a Beard Trim” It takes 1 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 7

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Mr.Lincoln I’ll make a deal.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I’ll tell you what happens to you if, as one of historys greatest debaters, you give a few pointers to Springfield Elementarys Debate Team.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Sure. Make your President jump through hoops before you answer a simple question. How patriotic of you.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Im precocious. Its not a crime.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Well, when I get back I’m gonna MAKE it one. Well call it the Lisa Simpson Amendment.
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 7” which is to “Make Abraham Lincoln Coach the Springfield Elementary Debate Team”. It takes 12 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 8

After tapping on Lisa’s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Okay, Mr. Lincoln — a deals a deal. Here’s what happens to you. On the night of April 14, 1865…
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png You know what? If what I’ve seen of Springfield is typical of the rest of America in 2013, let some other sucker preserve this crappy Union. I’m staying here.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I’m afraid we cant let you do that, Mr. President.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Yeah, well good luck catching me. Lincoln away!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 8” which is to “Make Lincoln Run For It!”. It takes 12 hours.

Honest Abe Pt. 9

After tapping on Abraham Lincoln ‘s exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Man, that Lincoln guy is fast! Did you see where he went, pal?
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Uh, no! By my top hat, mustache-less beard and frock coat, I haven’t seen anyone matching the description of this Abraham Lincoln.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, you’re the him I was talking about!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Drat! I need to modernize my look!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 9” which is to “Make Abraham Lincoln Attempt to Blend In”. It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Good day, kind sir. I wish to purchase a beverage from your fine establishment.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png I have never encountered such a polite customer. I can only assume there is something deeply wrong with you. Please do not kill me.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png You’ve got it all wrong! I’m just an average American from this time period. Like everybody, I enjoy man caves, candy and debilitating laziness.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Wait! I know you! You are the man from the Take-a-Penny-Leave-a-Penny tray!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png I must remember to be as rude and boorish as the rest of these horrible people

Honest Abe Pt. 10

After tapping on Mr. Burns’ exclamation mark
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png If it isnt my boyhood pal, Abraham! Fancy meeting you here!
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png Hiya, Monty. Could you keep your voice down? Im kind of lying low.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Of course. Say, didnt something happen with you at a theater a few years back? I thought I heard that.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png No, Im fine now. Listen, do you think I could hole up at your place for a few years? Just until the heat dies down.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png I suppose that could be arranged. If someone were to take an interest in the large pile of unsplit rail in my backyard.
Tapped Out Abraham Lincoln Icon.png It’s a deal!
The player receives “Honest Abe Pt. 10” which is to Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails. It takes 8 hours.

Lincoln Overtime

If the player has not purchased Lincoln after July 8, 2013
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aw, I hate when holidays are over. All the Fourth of July stuff is gone.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Not all of it — Abraham Lincoln is still around. Maybe what he did for the country was too important to trivialize by removing him from the store.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Or maybe the game designers screwed up. God know it wouldn’t be the first time.
MESSAGE Actually it’s neither of those. In honor of how much we like his storyline, we’re extending the sale of Abraham Lincoln until July 25.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So the Lincoln stuff is good, huh? That’ll be a change of pace.
MESSAGE What — you guys know what I said? I thought only the player could see this text.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Normally that’s true. But this is different because right now we’re aware that we’re in a game.
MESSAGE Hmmm… the rules for this are tricky.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We’re in a game?
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